Tell-A-Tale (Part 20): Sex And The City

There are about 2 million people living in this city, all with different desires and fantasies. Come the morning hours, everyone goes to work, looking rather clean and serious. From the facades, sex may just be the last thing on their fresh minds. Trust not those faces, for behind every 2 inches of M.A.C. or 20 grams of Gatsby, there’s a sextory waiting to be told.

From whips to cream, waxes to rim, we’ve heard it all. They blame the stressful lifestyle for such interesting experimentations. Or is it simply, indulgence?

In the past, my eyes would roll when people say, “…this is better than sex!”. Well, apparently it’s true, as I find out from friends. Unbeknownst to many, this form of better-than-sex kind of sex has been spreading like pollens in the time of spring. All in this city (and beyond).

We talk about it all the time, came in its presence and worshipped (applicable only to the extremists, also known as slamps) its meat. In fact, if we can only whisper (and snigger at) the joys of S&M to the colleague next to us, this orgasmic piece of meat is practically open for discussion (within the boundaries of religious belief and choice of diet, of course).

Healthy porn comes in form of a piece of pork belly, roasted to pinkish perfection, with just the right amount of melting fat, to be sandwiched between a crispy layer of golden brown skin and savoury, tender lean meat. The enlightening texture and the divine taste that I’m sure you have experienced, at least once in your life so far.

Here are three of my rather exhilarating, recent orgasms as I do the sensuous piece of meat we call siew yoke. And no, siew yoke is not the name of a girl (as in Lim Siew Yoke or Chan Siew Yoke or Siew Yoke Jing). It’s a slab of yummy roasted pork belly that goes well with anything from Pinot Noir or Oolong Cha or just moi.

All the oohs and aahs were no fake orgasms. The layer of cotton-soft fat was indeed sexciting while the marbling contributed to the overall softness of the siew yoke. Slightly larger than the norm, the cuts were rather uniform, size-wise. The skin was crispy while the meat has a faint hint of salt. I prefer a heavier dosage of salt though. While the chilli dipping was good (though slightly watery) and the rice was fluffy, I could just do the meat itself.

Get here early for the best piece of siew yoke. With all the tips from Lyrical Lemongrass, I managed to peak on a Saturday afternoon without much fuss.

Bring along some tissues as well. Blowing out of orgasmic proportions, there ought to be some spills; of oil on the pants, shirt and lips.

Restaurant Wong Kee
No. 30, Jalan Nyonya
Off Jalan Pudu
55100 Kuala Lumpur
Tel: (+603) 2145 2512

They’ve experienced it:
Lyrical Lemongrass
SC

From a distance, the welcoming jam (bass from the chopping board and the crackling treble of the skin) was phat.

*chop-crack-chop-crack-chop-crack*

However, it’ll get a bit annoying as you wait (for a significantly long period of time) for your meat. Some popsters are killed this way by MTV.

Quantum of solace came in form of a plate of hot siew yoke. Though slightly leaner than the usuals (which is good news to those who enjoy a cut with less fat), the savouriness of the pink meat was awesome. Coupled with a crunchy (and slightly charred, read aromatic) skin, it was good. There’s the oil/soy sauce drizzle for that extra sweet/salty taste and multiple orgasms.

Other meats though commendable, paled in comparison with that slammin’ piece of belly.

Kum Kee Chicken Rice
Cornershop (Inside Kedai Kopi Dan Makanan Mooi Mooi)
Jalan Rukun 2
Happy Gardens
Off Jalan Kuchai Lama
Kuala Lumpur

They’ve experienced it:
WMW
Cumi & Ciki

Just a 15 minutes drive from my hood, it’s the ultimate *arkbuddy should I have an urge for orgasmic siew yoke. Both the interior and exterior are not the least appealing but should one get pass all that, a piece of divinity awaits.

Ignore the momentum surrounding you. Take it slow and steady. Start with that piece of thick, crunchy, golden brown skin, follow by that creamy layer of fat that will practically smoothen your whole mouth as you take on the lean, salty meat the belly offers. Take a sip of the herbal tea and continue to round two. You can and you know you want to! Even Christmas came more than once in Tomorrow Never Dies, remember?

The grainy ginger dipping was a nice contrasting condiment while the other meats were good as well but we’ll save those for another position time.

A place that I can come to over and over again. Good stuff.

正记 (or verbally called Jing Gei in Cantonese)
Taman Kok Doh Hawker Centre (Opposite Da Ma Cai)
Jalan 17/42
Taman Kok Doh, Segambut
51200 Kuala Lumpur
Tel : (+6012) 383 0621


Is a piece of savoury, aromatic, pinkish siew yoke the futuresexscape of the city?

Ooops, something dripped.