Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Tell-A-Tale (Part 20): Sex And The City

There are about 2 million people living in this city, all with different desires and fantasies. Come the morning hours, everyone goes to work, looking rather clean and serious. From the facades, sex may just be the last thing on their fresh minds. Trust not those faces, for behind every 2 inches of M.A.C. or 20 grams of Gatsby, there’s a sextory waiting to be told.

From whips to cream, waxes to rim, we’ve heard it all. They blame the stressful lifestyle for such interesting experimentations. Or is it simply, indulgence?

In the past, my eyes would roll when people say, “…this is better than sex!”. Well, apparently it’s true, as I find out from friends. Unbeknownst to many, this form of better-than-sex kind of sex has been spreading like pollens in the time of spring. All in this city (and beyond).

We talk about it all the time, came in its presence and worshipped (applicable only to the extremists, also known as slamps) its meat. In fact, if we can only whisper (and snigger at) the joys of S&M to the colleague next to us, this orgasmic piece of meat is practically open for discussion (within the boundaries of religious belief and choice of diet, of course).

Healthy porn comes in form of a piece of pork belly, roasted to pinkish perfection, with just the right amount of melting fat, to be sandwiched between a crispy layer of golden brown skin and savoury, tender lean meat. The enlightening texture and the divine taste that I’m sure you have experienced, at least once in your life so far.

Here are three of my rather exhilarating, recent orgasms as I do the sensuous piece of meat we call siew yoke. And no, siew yoke is not the name of a girl (as in Lim Siew Yoke or Chan Siew Yoke or Siew Yoke Jing). It’s a slab of yummy roasted pork belly that goes well with anything from Pinot Noir or Oolong Cha or just moi.

All the oohs and aahs were no fake orgasms. The layer of cotton-soft fat was indeed sexciting while the marbling contributed to the overall softness of the siew yoke. Slightly larger than the norm, the cuts were rather uniform, size-wise. The skin was crispy while the meat has a faint hint of salt. I prefer a heavier dosage of salt though. While the chilli dipping was good (though slightly watery) and the rice was fluffy, I could just do the meat itself.

Get here early for the best piece of siew yoke. With all the tips from Lyrical Lemongrass, I managed to peak on a Saturday afternoon without much fuss.

Bring along some tissues as well. Blowing out of orgasmic proportions, there ought to be some spills; of oil on the pants, shirt and lips.

Restaurant Wong Kee
No. 30, Jalan Nyonya
Off Jalan Pudu
55100 Kuala Lumpur
Tel: (+603) 2145 2512

They’ve experienced it:
Lyrical Lemongrass

From a distance, the welcoming jam (bass from the chopping board and the crackling treble of the skin) was phat.


However, it’ll get a bit annoying as you wait (for a significantly long period of time) for your meat. Some popsters are killed this way by MTV.

Quantum of solace came in form of a plate of hot siew yoke. Though slightly leaner than the usuals (which is good news to those who enjoy a cut with less fat), the savouriness of the pink meat was awesome. Coupled with a crunchy (and slightly charred, read aromatic) skin, it was good. There’s the oil/soy sauce drizzle for that extra sweet/salty taste and multiple orgasms.

Other meats though commendable, paled in comparison with that slammin’ piece of belly.

Kum Kee Chicken Rice
Cornershop (Inside Kedai Kopi Dan Makanan Mooi Mooi)
Jalan Rukun 2
Happy Gardens
Off Jalan Kuchai Lama
Kuala Lumpur

They’ve experienced it:
Cumi & Ciki

Just a 15 minutes drive from my hood, it’s the ultimate *arkbuddy should I have an urge for orgasmic siew yoke. Both the interior and exterior are not the least appealing but should one get pass all that, a piece of divinity awaits.

Ignore the momentum surrounding you. Take it slow and steady. Start with that piece of thick, crunchy, golden brown skin, follow by that creamy layer of fat that will practically smoothen your whole mouth as you take on the lean, salty meat the belly offers. Take a sip of the herbal tea and continue to round two. You can and you know you want to! Even Christmas came more than once in Tomorrow Never Dies, remember?

The grainy ginger dipping was a nice contrasting condiment while the other meats were good as well but we’ll save those for another position time.

A place that I can come to over and over again. Good stuff.

正记 (or verbally called Jing Gei in Cantonese)
Taman Kok Doh Hawker Centre (Opposite Da Ma Cai)
Jalan 17/42
Taman Kok Doh, Segambut
51200 Kuala Lumpur
Tel : (+6012) 383 0621

Is a piece of savoury, aromatic, pinkish siew yoke the futuresexscape of the city?

Ooops, something dripped.


Life for Beginners said...

I nearly dropped my lunch at your last sentence. You kill me, mate.

Ah, siew yoke as porn. Better than sex indeed, unless you do it really well. Ahem. ;)

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wahlau eh..as in the words of ciki (or cumi also)..to PORK or to POKE is the million dollar question eh?

Lyrical Lemongrass said...

I know of several good porn magazines that will gladly hire you as a writer.

From whips to cream, waxes to rim got me laughing my ass off. (no spills though)

J2Kfm said...

ouch. too much pork at once.
something dripped as well. from corner of my mouth.

Live2Talk said...

damn you are good @ sex! can i join you the next time when you have the urge? so sweetie, which position you like ;P

wahdi said...

oh wow nice pics!

Tummythoz said...

With such a provocative title you sure do not disappoint.

ling239 said...

Lim Siew Yoke or Chan Siew Yoke or Siew Yoke Jing...

hmm... i sure hope that non of them is ur ex-gf or readers hahahaaaa...:p

Big Boys Oven said...

I was told Kum Kee is good! Have you heard of Ahlong Siew Yoke?

Argus Lou said...

Is that why the Italians have the self-same siew yoke they call porchetta or some such? Yeah, nice and herby-salty, melt-on-your-tongue Eye-talion stallion sass.

A friend of mine who transports life pigs from farms to butchers would love this post of yours, Hairy.

CUMI & CIKI said...

You be the Hefner of Siew Yoke... teeheehee.. great post! (pulse racing)

Nic (KHKL) said...

kenny, haha! well, perhaps siew yoke is bringing sexyback, ya! :) and a "mouthful" will have a new set of definitions...hehe

joe, PORK! PORK! PORK! hahaha....poking is not as fun as porking, me thinks. from BKT to kurobuta to siew yoke, YUM! YUM! YUM! hehehe...

lyrical lemongrass, thanks for te compliment, babe. ohhh....porn magazines? can i be the writer, director, actor and photographer??? gosh, i'm such a food porn slamp! haha!

j2kfm, *passing you tissue paper*..hehe..do check out these siew yoke stalls when you come to kl. and bring more tissue paper, ya! :) yummy!

live2talk, sure sweetie. i have siew yoke urges all the time! imagining a nice piece of pinkish meat now! :) position that i like? hmmm...i let you guess...hahaha!

wahdi, thanks for stopping by! and thanks for the compliment. your pictures are awesome!!! will be stalking your blog more often! haha!

Nic (KHKL) said...

tummythoz, woah, thank kew, thank kew! :) actually, i was thinking of another title but decided to scrap it cos was kinda boring. but somewhere along the sex line oso lar..hehe

ling239, haha! ya lor, after i posted, i tried to recall if i know anyone called Lim Siew Yoke or not. luckily dun have! hehe..actually, siew yoke jing can be translated as siew yoke monster hor? hehehe....

bigboysoven, Ahlong Siew Yoke? nope, not heard of it before? any good? where is it ar? i'm intrigued already!!! :)

argus, oh! i never thought of it that way. perhaps it's true. porchetta, bruschetta, panna cotta! I'll sure date a girl with the name Porchetta Capellini or anything along the pasta line. Yummy!

hope your friend likes this post! i guess food does unite people! bring on the pork, i'd say! :)

cumi & ciki, hefner? haha! so instead of females in bathing suits, i'll be surrounding by oinks??? eeeehhh, i dunwan! haha! still at 120/80 or 80/120 already? hehehe...

fatboybakes said...

gufffaw....hiding the screen from the view of my innocent children...

Xiu Long Bao said...

S.E.X is boring, unsightly & uninspiring in SG.

PureGlutton said...

OMG - what a sexily tantalising post, lol! Mmmm... all the underlying innuendos sure got many of us all dripping liao... dripping saliva leh! Nice nice pork.

CUMI & CIKI said...

180/180 harharhar

"Joe" who is constantly craving said...

wah u sure no potential gf reading ur comments?

mikky said...

it does look "orgasmic"... lol... you are naughty... i love the pics, makes you want to taste them... :)

Jun said...

pork belly dripping with fat isn't exactly wat i'd call "healthy porn", but it sure is tantalising ;p

Nic (KHKL) said...

fatboybakes, hehehehe....healthy porn mah...ok lar, maybe 18SG lar..haha!

xiu long bao, are you sure? perhaps you've not met a sexciting one ;)

pureglutton, haha! yupe, despite all the words, siew yoke rules!!! definitely! haha!

cumi and ciki, OMG!!! *sending over some herbal tea* haha!

joe, woah, potential gf? hmmmm....how i wish! :(

mikky, nothing beats an orgasmic piece of pork, eh? haha! *me hungry now!*

jun, hmmmm, you have a point! and some dont come cheap as well! haha! but sure is tantalising, agree! agree! :)

mimid3vils said...

The nearer place for me is the Tmn Kok Doh 1 :P

PS: But hor.... recently just got my medical report, cholesterol was slightly high, have to jogging more after I eat these :(

Camemberu said...

whoa, that's some deadly pork porn! you're making all of us drip too! Saliva, that is. lol

Come see my siew yoke! Now you can make your own!

Nic (KHKL) said...

mimi, go to FRIM for jogging! that is a very nice place for exercise! :)

camemberu, hehe...*handing you the tissue paper*...you made siew yoke??? ok, gotta check it out! *my turn to salivate* haha!

Simon Seow said...

Good stuff. I'll start near. Taman Kok Doh first. lol.